This blog post is a part of a series—an experiment of sorts. You see, I’m reading a book about forming better habits, and I invited the entire agency to participate. I also invited YOU to play along—and it’s not too late. It’s never too late. This is the second post of the series. Read the first one here.

In Chapter One of Gretchen’s book, she describes four kinds of people, or what she calls “Four Tendencies.” They are: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers and Rebels. Guess which one I thought I was based on name alone? But NOPE. And I was quite surprised. Here’s my breakdown of the four (which Gretchen may or may not agree with):

Upholders: They get everything done on their list EVERY DAY, no matter what’s on it, no matter what comes up. In the book, she describes a woman who gets food poisoning on vacation, who still goes about her tourist itinerary because those places were on her list. No exceptions here. Every box must be checked.
Questioners: Questioners not only want to know what needs to be done in a day, they want to know WHY. If they know why and agree with the why, they’re likely to get it done. They’re motivated by sound reason. Questioners “resist rules for rules’ sake ” and resist the arbitrary (think New Year’s Resolutions).
Obligers: Obligers are motivated by external accountability. They meet external deadlines and demands and go to great lengths not to let others down. Overall, they’re thought of as “people pleasers.”
Rebels: Rebels resist all expectations. “They choose to act from a sense of choice, of freedom.” They refuse to do what they’re “supposed” to do, but can still manage to accomplish their own goals.

It turns out, I’m an Obliger. While I don’t think of myself as a “people pleaser,” I am a stickler about meeting (or exceeding) expectations and always meeting deadlines. While I never would have labeled myself an Obliger, knowing this is my Tendency, Gretchen (importantly identified as an Upholder) says I’ll have something of a shortcut to forming a habit…and those around me working to help me build that habit will also be able to help. To illustrate, let me share an example from the book.

She says, “Knowing our Tendency can help us frame habits in a compelling way. I exercise regularly because it’s on my to-do list; a Questioner rattles off the health benefits of exercise; an Obliger takes a weekly bike ride with a partner; and when my Rebel friend Leslie Fandrich wrote about how she started running, she emphasized Rebel values of freedom and desire: ‘Running seems like the most efficient and independent way to get myself back into shape…I can go when it suits my schedule without having to pay for a gym membership.” 

As I close this chapter, it looks like we’ve got our step one. Figure out what Tendency we have and then try to apply it to the habit we want to form. Think about that this week and try to take the first step. This is going to be a tricky one for me, because the habit I want to work on is protecting my time, and Obligers want to deliver for others. [Cue dramatic music.]