In honor of the scurviest day of them all, we present to you #agencylife in pirate-speak. YAR WELCOME.
“We’re rascals and scoundrels, we’re villians and knaves.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We’re devils and black sheep, we’re really bad eggs.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.”
– A Pirate’s Life for Me, The Pirates of the Caribbean
“Look here lass, I be th’ cap’n o’ this ship here. Savvy?”
(Translation: “I’m on a mission. Don’t get in my way.”)
Son of a biscuit eater, thar she blows!
(Translation: “Holy s***. Client story is live! Client story is live!”)
“Third star on th’ left and then straight on till dawn, ye hornswaggle.”
(Translation: “No, I can’t find a stock photo of an elephant sharing a bathtub with an eggplant while they rocket into space toward a planet shaped like a tub of movie theater popcorn. That photo doesn’t exist.”)
“Ahoy, me hearties, get yer fill afore th’ tides change!”
(Translation: “I just sent out the perfect pitch. Everyone’s going to want a piece of this story. Everyone.”)
“Shiver me timbers… Weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen!”
(Translation: “Wait. We’re signing on how many new clients this month?!”)
Batten down th’ hatches and heave ho, ye landlubbers!
(Translation: “When you say you need that press release STAT, you mean next week, right?”)
“Walk th’ plank ‘n meet Davy Jone’s locker, ye salty dog.”
(Translation: “No. I can’t just use a photo off Google. Why? Because copyright infringement.”)
“Deadmen tell no tales.”
(Translation: I need an update on client X. Don’t make me ask twice.”)
“I’ll skewer yer gizzard, ye salty sea bass… Avast!”
(Translation: “First there was FB messenger, now there’s an “unlike” button. WTF is next?”)
“X Marks the spot, ye scallywag!”
(Translation: “Sign this contract. Sign it now.”)
“Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum.”
(Translation: “It’s the freakin’ weekend. Let’s party! Tiny victories and #champagnefriday!”)
Swab the deck, hoist th’ flags, heave-away and let’s cast off! If ye be lookin’ to celebrate this ‘ere holiday, check out the ideas below to impress (or really annoy) yer mateys.
- Figure out your “pirate name” and adamantly insist everyone call you by it for the remainder of the day.
- Even pirates had codes of conduct. Don’t be a bilge rat. Obey the code or it be down to Davey Jones’ locker with ye.
- If Google’s your thing, switch the language settings to “Pirate.” Just don’t forget how to change it back.
- Go to Krispy Kreme. Talk like a pirate. Get a free donut, ya scoundrel!
- Basically spend the entire day being laser-focused about pirates. Wear an eyepatch, adopt a parrot and drink rum. Drink lots of rum. Drink all of the rum.
Please (oh please), comment in pirate below.